you know something is wrong when you're looking at your blog, and you have all these things you feel like writing down. but suddenly your blog isnt the place for it anymore. suddenly not everything that goes through your mind is okay to be read by everyone. and that's when it truly sucks. it never really mattered, who read this blog, because i knew that the few who did who mattered wouldnt judge me for what's running through my mind anyway, and hi-bye to the rest, you know?

dealing with change in your life is something that i've got to get used to.

when you've got all these mixed emotions running through your mind, its amazing how the heart always finds time for more. you try and shut it out but your heart never really listens. its like as though you never learn. its like that game you like to play, because there was this one time you played it, and it was just so damn fun. and you're searching, and waiting, looking for that perfect game again.

well today i feel like i've run out of chance cards, i'm no longer rolling doubles, and i sure as hell refuse to go directly to jail. it almost seems like i've had enough. in more ways than one, i have.
and yet, i know that one day i'll sell everything, if only for a chance to pass go again.

why, i ask? why should i search for that perfect game again?

[ f o u r ], step back to [ o n e ].