my oc download is taking forever, after 2 error-ed downloads, i can't believe i'm desperate enough to give it a third attempt. but that's me, a truebluegreenyellow oc fan. i dont have blu-tac, i have yet to put up Seth's poster in my hall room, its still rolled up, waiting to be mounted.
i like climbing! i feel like climbing! i cant believe i didnt go for climbing today! why do i complicate my life so much! there's a climbing camp this weekend! why is it over the weekend! does nobody else realise how precious the weekend is! so sad! i have to decide how to fit in everything i really wanna do this weekend. i hope its possible?
oh well.
[..i don't want to be anything other than what i've been trying to be lately
all i have to do is think of me and i have peace of mind
i'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what i gotta do
or who i'm supposed to be
i don't want to be anything other than me..]

the month of august passes, there are no more farewells to bid to america-bound people, now time's running up for the uk-bound.

left right centre, people falling in love, people falling in like, people already in love, people who have loved, people who hope for love, people who've had enough of love. september comes and september goes, the magic is only there for a moment, fleeting? forever? hopefully?
i wonder how much i have changed, how close i am to what i hoped i'd be. i guess my life is taking some form of shape, it's found some kind of direction. the one emotion i feel this very moment, is anticipation. anticipation of how things will turn out, friendships, commitments, climbing, medicine.

i've had enough of missed opportunities. i think its better to just, take that step, perhaps even that leap. everyone says they never wanna look back and say -damn!, but somehow i think it's worse if one day you look back and you realise that you've simply.. got nothing to look back upon.

[..and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
or the moment of truth in your lies
when everything feels like the movies
yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive..]

i cannot begin to tell you how beautiful the first of september was.
it is difficult to put down in words, yet in my mind, it replays with amazing clarity, perhaps even with zoom function and easy rewind and skip tracks and fast forward, and slow-mo.
cos a moment could last forever, and forever could be just.. perfect.