this blog has come to speak little of which i really feel.
just random statements pieced together.
i miss reading and writing blog entries that really capture the feelings of the moment, the ones that make you remember exactly how you felt at that point in time, what true happiness, sadness, desperation, heartbreak, strength, satisfaction, carefree, are really all about, just because they remind you of all the small little things that happened which slipped your mind.
i dont know what i've become, kind of like i forgot which direction i was heading in. i dont know what i should be working towards. as i grew older i always wanted to be like someone else, never the person i used to be. and so, we all evolve, to fit the personality we want to achieve. and that becomes who we are. you think? maybe i just subconsciously find a need to change who i am whenever things go wrong, cos if i wasnt that person to start with, things would never have gone wrong. is that psychotic?
oh well, how come its so easy to forget the good times and yet you will always remember the times gone bad, despite them being fewer in number?
things mightve been different from the start, if i wasnt the person i was trying to be, when i met you. or if i wasnt the person you thought i was. or if i wasnt the person i thought i was. i dont know what i'm saying. but maybe things arent so bad right now.
so tell me then, do you think i've changed from the last memory you have of me?
the worst way to cheat yourself is to pretend to be something you're not. though sometimes people think that's a better way to live the hardest part of their life.

omg, i, have, never, had, to, study, so, hard, in, my, life, before. it, has, never, been, this, much, of, a, strain! as in. its really quite challenging. i haven't studiedstudied properly in like, a year plusplusplus, my brains arent used to the stress!! staying in hall and just being lazy wrt academics made me a completelyuseless student last year.

basket. i spent, about seven hours in the anatomy museum today (i've already minused off the 2 hours for lunchbreak, and saleem'ssurprisebdaycelebration- happy birthday boy(: ) and, i still feel like i need to spend another 10 hours on anatomy before i will be ready for spots.
and, i now have officially approx 48 hours, before the day of my first exam, including sleeping hours. of course, this would all have been easier if i'd actually been awake in at least 60% of lectures last yearr, but noo, nita never learns from her jcdays. why not? she lives in a world of her own where she thinks that everything will be alright in the end. when oh when will she realise that things can be more than just alright, if she learns from her mistakes? SOON. basket.

anyway, all the best to fellow friends, who have exams, med or not, mad or not.
strive on! then it's another 3 weeks of TRUEBLUEMUGGING, and we will hopefully have no regrets, and get to spend 3months doing something reallyyy exciting and fun.
pleasepleaseplease.
i wish i had a birthday wish to increase the chances of making this one wish come true. hahaha lucky saleem? ohWELL.